Title: Loyalty to Royalty
By: Rebbetzin Yitty Neustadt
Israel Bookshop (Tfutza) Publications, 2025
The song “Eishes Chayil” is a praise to the Jewish woman. “Eishes Chayil” consists of the last 22 pesukim of Mishlei. The 22 stanzas go in the order of the aleph beis demonstrating the perfection of the Jewish woman from beginning to end. This song is sung in Jewish homes on Friday night, but what is the meaning of this song? What makes one a woman of valor? In the newly translated book, Loyalty to Royalty (a loyal rendition of the Hebrew sefer, Mipeninim Michra), Rebbetzin Yitty Neustadt, a”h, offers candid and faithful insights into what makes an eishes chayil. The Rebbetzin devoted her life to guiding woman in the ways of becoming an eishes chayil and now has the further merit of this posthumously published book.
Eishes chayil can be translated literally as “woman of distinction” (Mishlei, Artscroll, 2007). This was Noach’s wife who was saved from the mabul because she was equal to Noach. Additionally, Sarah was as great as Avraham in her spirituality (she was modest) as well as in the material support she provided to guests. A woman of valor serves her household in both the physical needs and a spiritual sense, as the song “Eishes Chayil” states and as explained more fully in Loyalty to Royalty.
Loyalty to Royalty is divided up into various chapters, each of which focuses on a different stanza of “Eishes Chayil.” Based on her own experiences, lectures, counseling and learning, Rebbetzin Neustadt enables the reader to more greatly appreciate what they are singing (or what is being sung). Man or woman, single or married, one can learn what it takes to be a great husband or wife, along with the responsibilities that come with it. Not only will one gain more of an understanding of the “Eishes Chayil” song, but they will also appreciate all that a woman of valor does.
Rebbetzin Neustadt describes a Jewish woman as having the roots of the family tree. A tree’s roots are hidden deep into the ground tapping into an unlimited source of water for nourishment. The Jewish woman is modest; she is the foundation of the household. The work she does is often unseen. This is the heroine we are singing to in “Eishes Chayil.”
While we have formal prayers in our siddurim that were compiled by Chazal, a woman of valor always has a prayer in her heart. “V’Chana he medaberes al libah – but Chana, she was speaking in her heart” (Shmuel I 1:13). Rabbi Shimshon Dovid Pincus, zt”l, who is quoted extensively by Rebbetzin Neustadt, says in his sefer Nefesh HaChaim that a woman can pray formally from a siddur and also from her heart.
Rabbi Ezriel Tauber, zt”l, who was the father of Rebbetzin Neustadt, was a businessman at one point in his life. When asked how he had time to both learn and work, he explained: “I pray when I work, and I work when I pray.” Rebbetzin Neustadt learned from her father and mother that a Jewish woman always has prayer on her lips.
A Jewish woman is compared to a cargo ship: she sets the direction her family should go in and ensures everyone is on board with her. How? By being modest, setting standards in the home, and teaching others her ideals. Alshich explains that a husband trusts his wife to manage the house when he is away because she knows what is permitted and what is prohibited.
In the chapter on Vatakam b’od layla, Rebbetzin Neustadt describes a household where the children are rushing out at the last minute asking where this pencil is or where that looseleaf is. One child tosses their sibling’s folder to them as they are heading onto the bus. A woman of valor prepares for the day beforehand. She gets up before everyone else and ensures everyone has what they need.
There is a story in Eruvin (53b) which speaks to the brevity of speech that is the quality of an eishes chayil and how she imparts this lesson to others. As Rabbi Nachman Seltzer relates in Zera Shimshon Eishes Chayil (Artscroll 2022), Rabbi Yose Hagili was traveling when he met Rabbi Meir’s wife, Beruriah. He asked her, “Which is the best road to take into the city of Lod?” She admonished him stating that one should not talk to woman excessively. Instead, Beruriah told Rabbi Meir, “You should have kept your question to a minimum and asked, ‘Which road to Lod?’”
A story is told in Toras Imecha (Feldheim 2024) about Rebbetzin Tzipora Alter, a”h, wife of Rabbi Pinchas Menachem Alter, z”l, the Pnei Menachem. Rebbetzin Tziporah founded and ran many Gerrer organizations. She gave away her jewelry to a kallah on her wedding day. The Rebbetzin would go to hospitals to make the patients happy. Rabbi Yisrael, her son said of her chinuch: “She inspired each of her children in their own way, with her wisdom and intelligence.”
Rabbi Akiva’s wife, Rochel, gave up a life of wealth for a life of Torah. “Darsha tzemer u’phishtim, vata’as b’chafetz kape’ah” Wool is loving kindness while flax represents strength. A Jewish woman can refine these two traits to strike the right balance in being a loving and caring wife, mother and daughter, but also standing up for what is right. This was Rochel, and this is why she merited to wear the city of Jerusalem in both the physical sense (a golden tiara depicting the city of Jerusalem) and in the spiritual sense (Shabbos 59). Rochel sold the braids of her hair so Rabbi Akiva could study Torah. In the end, she received this ornament (as well as Olam Haba).
Loyalty to Royalty teaches the reader how to live the life of an eishes chayil, what to look for in a potential match, and how to appreciate one’s spouse. In fact, this song is even sung by bachurim in yeshiva. We all want shalom bayis and we all want to praise the Jewish woman. In a home where there is peace, the Shechina rests therein (Rashi on Sotah 17a). When Rav Shalom Zalman Aurbach, zt”l, was walking home to his wife he said he was greeting the Shechina.
The root of the word faith begins with Aleph Mem, a mother. Shabbos, too, is the day of faith. The day of Shabbos is the source of all abundance. We have income for all seven days of the week from Shabbos, because Shabbos is the source of blessing.
A Jewish woman’s strength is her emunah. Although she might not see the fruits of her labor right away, she works hard day in and day out to be a good wife, devoted mother and servant of Hashem. May we all merit to see the praises of “Eishes Chayil” bear fruit in ourselves, our households and all of Klal Yisrael.