Word Prompt – MACHZOR – Eli Lebowicz

I do try to have an inspirational davening on Yom Kippur, but it’s tough to stay focused and not count the pages every half hour. There’s a certain joy we get realizing that the number of pages in the machzor is only half as many as you first thought because of the English translation.

People who use the Birnbaum machzor sadly don’t know this joy and these people undoubtedly still use a fax machine and possibly AOL. There is maddening frustration when you have only 30 pages left of davening (really 15) and you somehow have 45 minutes left because of shlepping.

There are no sweeter words in Jewish liturgy than “most congregations omit this.”

The Artscroll machzor has practically become its own nusach. Whatever is bolded we say, and woe to any chazzan that goes rogue and decides to say any of the things in fine print.

I don’t believe in segulahs much, but you better believe as a self-employed comedian I say those gray additions in Avinu Malkeinu for extra parnassah.