September 18, 2026 Recommendations for Repentance
The Gemara in Masechtas Menachos teaches us that this world was created with the letter hei, as the verse states, “Eila toldos shamayim v’aretz b’hibarom – These are the accountings of Heaven and earth when they were created.” The word b’hibarom can also be read, “b’hei barom,” which gives us a rendering of the verse, “With the letter hei, the Heaven and earth were created.” The Gemara explains that the hei is open at the bottom to signify that if we lead a life of sin, we will plummet, G-d forbid, to the abyss. The opening at the left side of the hei represents a special entranceway for those who do teshuvah to re-enter. Thus, we see the letter that made creation possible has, as one of its main components, the mission of teshuvah.
While teshuvah is important throughout the year, at no time is it as urgent and as effective as during the Ten Days of Repentance, for currently, Hashem stretches out His Hand, welcoming our overtures of repentance. It is this that the pasuk attests when it says, “Dirshu Hashem v’hi m’tzo – Seek out Hashem when He can be found,” which refers to the Ten Days of Repentance.
But, when one seriously initiates a campaign to do teshuvah, he might be overwhelmed by where to start. Should he work on gossip? On anger? On business ethics? Should he turn his attention to prayer, learning the many words that he doesn’t understand, working on his concentration and pursuing a sharper focus on his talking to G-d?
Should he perhaps concentrate on finding more time to learn, or spending more time honoring his parents? Should he work on charity and acts of kindness? Perhaps he should hone his skills at displaying more sensitivity in his interpersonal relationships or maybe one should put full focus on bettering his or her marriage.
Whew! The list goes on and on and we can almost hear the yetzer hara sarcastically saying in the background, “Forget it! You’re a lost cause!”
Of course, while all the above are ripe fields for self-improvement, it is foolhardy to try to improve everything at once. So, where do we begin? Rabbi Dovid Goldwasser, in his inspiring sefer on Elul, quotes an interesting Gemara in Masechtas Menachos (43b). The Gemara teaches us, “Kasha onshon shel tzitzis yoser mei’onshon shel t’cheles – The penalty for not wearing white tzitzis is more severe than the sin of leaving out the blue thread.”
The fundamental theme of this Gemara is that, since the white thread was easier to procure, the sin of not having it is more serious. This is because the easier the mitzvah the greater the sin is for its omission. Thus, we see, contrary to what we might think, when one embarks upon a teshuvah campaign, he should start correcting the easy mitzvos first, for neglect of these mitzvos is the most sinful in the eyes of Hashem. There is another strong reason to start first with the easier aveiros. With these mitzvos we are most likely to succeed, which will give us a strong incentive to continue our campaign of self-improvement.
Yet another important guideline on where to start our teshuvah curriculum is to consider the Talmudic dictum of “aveira goreres aveira,” the vicious cycle that the doing of one sin leads to further sins. An example of this is if someone sins by yelling in anger at his wife Friday afternoon, Hashem might tempt him with sin during Maariv davening on Friday night by having someone come over to him to talk. Indeed, many times when we find ourselves facing strong temptation, the reason we were put in such a predicament in the first place is because we sinned earlier in the day.
Bearing this in mind, the serious baal teshuva / penitent will pay special attention to his or her behavior at the very beginning of the day. For example, do we say Modeh Ani in the morning as soon as we wake up? This is a relatively easy thing to do – so its omission is particularly punishable. Furthermore, if we start off the day on the wrong foot, this immediately initiates the nasty snowball effect of “aveira goreres aveira,” which can have ugly repercussions throughout the day. This line of reasoning holds equally true for the proper washing of our hands in the morning, how we greet our spouse and children upon awakening, how we say our berachos at the breakfast table, and so forth.
So, let’s bear in mind these important rules. Start with the easy stuff at the beginning of the day! This formula will prove very rewarding, can greatly improve and enhance the quality of our lives, and uplift the substance of our spirituality. In this merit, may we be blessed with a G’mar chasima tova u’masuka – a Final Seal of good health and sweetness for the New Year.
My wife, Shoshy Weiss, LCSW-R, is offering “IFS Inner Circle,” a small group for women, limited to 7 participants, for authentic sharing, connection, and growth through the IFS method. Registration is now open. Beginning after Sukkos, on October 19th at 8:30pm (by phone) and on October 20th at 10:30am (on Zoom) for 5 weeks, the groups will meet once a week for 75 minutes. For more information and to see the full ad, call/text 845-270-3699 or visit ShoshyWeissIFSTherapist.com.
Transcribed and edited by Shelley Zeitlin.
