Word Prompt – MISHMAR – Yehudah Pryce

Mishmar translates to keep watch, and the word speaks to my lived experience in a particularly salient way. I first learned the rhythm of keeping watch in a place antithetical to a Yid's mission. Prison. Incarcerated as a teenager, the consequence of my own choices, I lived years measured in shifts and watches. Custody counts, guard rotations, the watch change echoing down the tier at night. I do not resent that watch. I earned it. But lying awake beneath it, I understood what a watch declares: what happens here matters enough that someone must stay awake for it.

Decades later, after teshuvah, becoming a Jew and a licensed psychotherapist, I was introduced to mishmar. The Beis HaMikdash ran on watches too, mishmaros of kohanim rotating weekly. In Brachos 3a, we learn that even Hashem's nights are divided into mishmaros. He, too, stays awake for what He treasures.

The watch of my youth was cold and silent. Then there is Thursday night mishmar. Inspiring learning, camaraderie, cholent, a niggun drawing us closer to Hashem as we lean towards Shabbos. Sharing this watch with Hashem, guarding an infinite connection.

Many Jews I counseled at the Chabad Treatment Center, some with histories like mine, gather almost every Thursday night for mishmar in our L.A. community. When Jews embrace that a power greater than ourselves can restore us through teshuvah, we realize we were never alone on any watch. Hashem was awake the whole time, waiting for us to join Him.

I was once counted on a watch. Today, be'chasdei Hashem, I have the privilege of keeping watch with the One who never stopped keeping watch over me.