יום חמישי, כ׳ תשרי תשפ״זThursday, October 1, 2026
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This probably is not indicative of a larger issue, but either way, it is not your place to address it.
Without the option to have been a fly on the wall during your dates, it is impossible for anyone to completely determine if it was too fast, too slow, or just enough.
Explain to your daughter that you want to do whatever it takes to rebuild your relationship. Ask her what you can do differently to repair your relationship.
While you certainly know one another now, time will only encourage the ease and comfort that you feel with one another, making your spouse someone that you appreciate spending so much time with.
They went through the same process every year: Moshe kicking and screaming in the car on the way to school, two months of crying before he went to sleep, and then Moshe’s eventual resignation and despair for the duration of the year.
It is not easy to deal with negative people, but if this is important to your husband, you may need to try to have your father-in-law over and make the best of it.
You never want someone to feel compelled to marry you because a certain number of dates have passed and he feels bad, or to move toward marriage if he does not feel thrilled to be doing so.
My husband has been driving me crazy to lose weight and even blaming me for the hard time our daughter is having getting dates.
This year, with most camps closed and several months with no school, siblings have already spent lots of time together. This can make the conflict even more pronounced.
If you have specific reasons for your anxiety write them down so that your thoughts can be clearly conveyed to those who will help you through. If it is just a general feeling of worry, write that down as well.
I don't mean to cut anyone out but just not leave everything equally?
All those moments where you pictured the décor, the first dance, and the mile-long buffet are lost. A new dream had to be drawn that focused solely on the simcha and the union of two people ready to make a life together.
I kept quiet because I would have screamed if I had opened my mouth, This happened three weeks ago and since then I haven't called my parents.
If your child is struggling with an activity, consider speaking to the teacher about his or her goals for the activity.
Be kind to yourself. This is hard and your pain is real. So first treat yourself with love and respect.
Get creative – and collaborative. Brainstorm your children’s passions and come up with large projects that they can work on by themselves or with a friend or family member remotely.
I truly believe that chessed begins at home. We must care for our own immediate families and extended families before running out to save the world.
Living in New York will definitely allow you to access more shadchanim, more singles events, and offer you more exposure to a greater group of people.
While the virus still affects our daily lives and our futures are uncertain, we can still recognize that there is a lot of work to be done with ourselves and our children around the anxieties that the pandemic has already created and will continue to create. We hear all the time that children are resilient […]
At this point, you may want to first find out what is going on before you involve your ex-husband. Perhaps your son may have actually done this extreme behavior to get you to speak to your ex-husband.
Being smart is terrific. It is a gift from Hashem, like talent and beauty and the ability to fold bed sheets (obviously). You are smart. You know it, you want others to know it, and you want to marry someone who will mirror that intellect.
Often we have negative voices that we listen to in our heads. Voices that tell us that we are a “loser,” that we will “never succeed,” or that we need to be better at something.
You are concerned that if she is seemingly this involved before you are even engaged, that will translate into boundaries crossed in your future with her daughter.
You are lucky that you have one parent to model positivity for you. You are already 16 and seem wise beyond your years.
By Baila Sebrow
Other shadchanim mean well, but don’t know how to express their thoughts gently. Sometimes, it’s not what is said, but how it’s conveyed that makes all the difference.
For some reason, when it comes to the shidduch world, it is considered normal – even "the Torah way" – for singles to put their fate entirely in the hands of strangers.
Some blow up dozens of times a day, others just a few times a week. Some ‘lose it’ only at home, others only in school, and still others in any conceivable location. Some scream when they become frustrated, others become physically or verbally aggressive.
I see no harm done in starting with Zoom dating to at least get to know the person initially.
If Covid-19 has taught us anything – it’s that connection can still be fostered when we are not together. We can still get to know each other, build relationships, and learn from and about each other.
Without enough sleep, teens can feel like they are walking around in a perpetual haze. And this haze can lead to disastrous consequences.
They take out the trash themselves, unstuff the toilet, and shlep their own luggage. These women don’t need a man, but they must not forget that they still want one.
She seems to be feeling overworked and overwhelmed, and unfortunately appears to be taking it out on you.
I also heard a few classic stories about people who had fallen in every room you can imagine and were away from their phone. One person even lives in a nursing home but wasn't able to reach the emergency cord on the wall.
When classes end, it is incredibly important to get your kids reading, especially if they struggle with reading during the year.
You see the effort that your older siblings must expend in order to grow their families and you want to reject all the obligation that brings.
Zoom dating works for the first few dates or the first few weeks, but a real relationship generally grows from being with a person face-to-face.
While I am not calling to question the diagnoses of medical professionals, there are many children who exhibit signs of ADHD but may be struggling with something else.
I will never minimize the strength and determination it takes to get dressed up, to put on a happy face, and to portray positivity and enthusiasm when you have been dating for so many years.
I though it was showing weakness to ask for help. So, I never asked for help and no one offered any.
Labels are great because they are clear and defined, but when we only see the label, we lose the individual.
You are certainly lucky to have had a brother go through shidduchim before you so that you could better understand how the process works.
For most children, listening is the first entry point into a text, and we finally have the technology to allow children (and adults) to listen to almost any printed book.
You are correct that there may be those who may not be interested in you because your family isn’t Instagram perfect.
Sometimes, it is easier to deal with the challenge that is hidden behind a black garbage bag.
It’s important to recognize why we feel anxiety. If we didn’t have any anxiety, we wouldn’t know to be cautious around dangerous things.
While we know that they have no bearing on someone’s character, they can cause friction and uncertainty as you prepare to walk down the aisle.
Don’t “should” yourself. In times of uncertainty, it’s incredibly important to be kind to yourself. There is really a “should” when you don’t know what the future will bring.
It is important to remember that nothing will work all of the time and that you will probably still have difficult moments, but it is how you handle these difficult moments that will determine how things turn out in the future.
Different can be exhilarating, especially if you have a tendency to be more circumspect and careful. Different suddenly allows you to enjoy the fun that spontaneity and a sense of adventure often offers.
You have to assume everyone is at least two or three notches lower than he or she appears in the profile picture simply because many people will be two or three notches lower in real life.
As a global crisis forces us to reevaluate our ethos and values, perhaps this is the time to focus on our elderly...
Most people do not realize that we are causing our physical, emotional and behavioral health problems and generally try harder to go faster.
It is heartwarming to hear that you both found a way to date that was safe with backyard benches in the place of hotel lobbies and local restaurants.
The only thing we can be sure of as a constant is change. Change is hard and we are often resistant.
He believed that there was a myriad of choices and thus it was his prerogative to analyze every single one.
We avoid difficult conversations, we react with anger, and we eat our feelings without knowing why.
While you may struggle to talk and share, you can be a great listener. Prepare open-ended questions before the date and really listen to the answers given.
The issue is that the food only temporarily satisfies the emotional hunger. After eating, the person usually feels shame and guilt and has not gotten to the root of the emotion to begin with.
Recognizing that uncertainty makes us think the worst, which almost never occurs, can help you overcome your worst moments.
There are three categories that must be met before a couple can decide if they (with Hashem’s help) could make a happy life together.
Kessler calls what we are all feeling “anticipatory grief,” and explains that it is the “feeling we get about what the future holds when we’re uncertain.”
Most home-based landline devices consists of a button, either worn as a pendant or a bracelet, and a base in the home with a speakerphone.
G-d willing, next year you may look back at this precious time with your parents where you had their undivided attention for eight days.
Once you are feeling anxious, it is imperative to try to calm yourself down so you can set yourself up for success.
You were happily dating when suddenly Covid-19 changed the game and forced you to prematurely think about timelines and wedding dates.
Surely, we were close. Yet, again we drove and after circling and then circling again, we found ourselves back at-nowhere.
The secret to being more productive is understanding how to manage your brain better.
If the daughter-in-law learns to change her reaction and validates the criticism in a positive way, the mother-in-law will likely not know how to respond.
It’s hard to go to singles events. It’s hard to smile, and nod, to introduce yourself, to offer your most charming one liner – and then turn and do it all over again.
October 2, 2026 
