יום שישי, כ״ו חשוון תשפ״זFriday, November 6, 2026
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By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Yankel was puzzled. He was young, he was old. It didn’t feel like a compliment either way. Now he wasn’t to talk about it – but they were full steam ahead anyway.
It is interesting that you now appreciate how the chassidim date. Many people who are not from the chassidishe world cannot understand or fathom that a couple can get engaged after three meetings and be happy together.
Even though he didn’t display any more “red flags” on the rest of your date, you are concerned that this behavior is not something you should ignore. Was this just a bad moment? Or was your interaction a forecasting of a turbulent future; a discussion that must not be ignored.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Meanwhile the older woman studied the younger hard, from a distance. It was bizarre for Yankel to watch his mother stare to the point of crudeness.
Nothing you do will really calm the drama, but if you and your wife can change your perspective, it may make everything easier to bear and thus make you feel calmer (which will ultimately calm the house down as well).
Even when we are comfortable working toward a future with someone, we can feel blindsided by our date’s easy understanding of what a lifetime together would look like.
Let’s discuss the possible solutions to the pressure you are feeling. Your family believes that a certain number of dates should determine an engagement. If you believe them – propose!
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Yankel’s father held on to his son’s hand for a brief moment. I was passing by and I was seized by the urge to see this place. I hadn’t planned on disturbing you, but I was recognized by one of your yeshiva bochur friends who insisted on fetching you.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Yankel was a bit pained and puzzled by this question. Surely, Leah was familiar with the way things were done in the yeshiva world. She had to know that this was a complicated matter.
As the caregiver, you must not fall into the trap of not caring for yourself. You do not want to get sick yourself emotionally or physically.
We don’t date in rom-coms, we don’t date in romance novels, and we don’t date through insta-stories. We date in reality.
Some say listening works best While others like observing the rest. Some students say they focus more When music, talking, or moving is in store. Others like to sit down and write Knowing the details is what makes them bright.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Hat on his head, Yankel walked a brisk step to Leah’s house. His thoughts kept him lively company, and the twenty-minute walk felt like five. Leah was waiting at the door. He noticed the glint of her earrings and then looked away.
If you are simply reliant on someone else, it doesn’t mean that you are co-dependent. In a healthy relationship, each person can rely on the other for a variety of needs.
Kudos to you for seeing past an outfit on your dates. You knew immediately that here in fact the clothes don’t make the man” and you understand how precious his character and good middos are.
There are amazing resources available for note taking called graphic organizers. Graphic organizers are visual aids that can help students succinctly and quickly write down information.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
This is reality. There will always be somebody you don’t like or doing something you don’t like. You can’t walk out. What will be with us when there is a problem? Are you going to walk out on us?
Are you choosing happiness? Are you focusing only on your problems? Or are you focusing on all the blessings that Hashem has given you?
Yes, a Pesach program can be a wonderful opportunity for you to meet new singles. For those who are up for it, it can be a helpful gift in a dating journey. At the same time however, you need a break. You need the time to rest and you need the time away.
Creating or studying images can help your daughter’s brain better store the information.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
They waited in silence for the train to glide into the station. When they got on the train, Leah said, I missed you.
In a world obsessed with fame we must fiercely protect ourselves from the smoke and mirrors that is social media.
It is also important to remember that these older children have been through a lot! Losing a parent is very difficult and even though they are so fortunate to have rebuilt their family, it is still a big challenge for them.
Dysgraphia can manifest itself as difficulties with spelling, poor handwriting and trouble putting thoughts on paper. However, children who suffer from dysgraphia often have reading skills that are on par with other children their age.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
A thought, any thought, was as good as any other perhaps, but it was isolated, cut off. Binyamin was an island.
When going to a therapist for premarital counseling, it would likely be more prudent to go to a neutral therapist so they can be honest with both of you.
As you get older, the circle of potential guys becomes smaller and smaller. While there might be eligible men from a similar background that you may not have met yet, the possibilities grow smaller every day.
It’s hard to imagine that reading can have such profound effects, but studies show that the benefits of reading instruction on children with Down syndrome extend far beyond the classroom.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Yankel would get out of there as soon as he could. What was there to linger for? Did his father want his approval?
This woman's well-being is hostage to her ex-husband's secret life as she cannot seek the emotional support she and her child need.
You feel maligned by the raised eyebrows and funny looks. May I be so bold as to suggest that their reactions are merely surprise at your good fortune?
Like your daughter, gifted children tend to enjoy speaking to people who are on their mental level. This often means that they will have trouble communicating with children who are not as bright as they are.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Yankel bore down so hard while slicing his perogie that his knife made a clink sound on the bone china. Could Abba actually be apologizing for… everything? He shrugged.
Please share with people that ghosting is very painful.... The hurt and betrayal is devastating.
She did not have anything negative or worrying to share about him. Yet, you are still thinking about walking away from a guy that sounds like he might be the right fit for you.
Everything is more enjoyable when you do it with someone else – learning included.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
True, he was the playful type, but his father was almost a compulsive salesman. With every word, with every gesture, he was out to prove that his way was right, that his ideology, the superior one.
We never really know what other people are enduring. Life is so challenging. People often evaluate situations based on what they see, which is often not the whole picture.
Time to take a step back. This is the time to refocus and to take your dating story back into your own hands.
Because our schools follow a dual curriculum, it is often hard for teachers to fit in enough time for recess during the day.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
He was surprised by her self-possession. Here she seemed smitten by him and yet she was confident. She could just as soon leave him as take him.
A great technique I recommend to people who deal with difficult people is to answer a negative with a positive.
Every classroom needs rules, but instead of writing, No calling out, frame the rules in positive terms as Raise your hand before speaking.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Yankel had a few thousand dollars put aside from tutoring younger boys and a few summers as a camp counselor. If there was a time to spend, Yankel would spend it now on these dates.
It appears to me that your stonewalling is unintentional. It could be a learned response from your childhood to avoid escalating a fight or avoid discussing an uncomfortable topic.
Even if this trip is just for the sake of fun, it still holds merit.
While boys’ toys often involve principles inherent in math and science, girls’ toys focus on imagination and creativity. From these early experiences, it’s easy to understand why girls gravitate to English and history and boys are drawn to math and science.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Yankel enjoyed this exchange; and as evidenced by the smiles in the room, so did the others. But at the same time he wondered about what he had just said.
I would never suggest that someone “settle” for someone who lacks mentchlichkeit. I would never want a girl to date someone as a last resort or without the confidence to say no.
While many gifted children are high achievers and excel in school, many gifted students are bored, unchallenged, or dealing with co-existing learning disabilities.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
It was strange that afterward, when he was back in his dormitory room, going over the evening in his mind, he could not even remember the color of Leah’s eyes.
As I write this column, I wonder if in fact he is stonewalling you or if he just does some things like stonewalling. The wish to never fight or disagree in a marriage is unrealistic.
They accuse you of being a fat girl masquerading in a skinny girl’s body. While this is clearly ludicrous, the hurt and stigma are very real. You are thin. Isn’t that what they want?
These forms of testing are great ways to know what students know, but they don’t always reflect the application of the skills they are learning every day.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Leah looked at him. She flashed a modest smile revealing small, white, polished-pearl teeth. To see them sent a fright through him.
When I see couples walking together and both speaking on their phones to other people, it hurts deeply. Instead of walking and talking to each other, they are speaking to other people.
You don’t want to date someone who isn’t skinny and don’t understand why those around you bristle at that statement. Would they prefer you date a girl you are not going to be attracted to because of her size?
Starting to assess student readiness, interests, and learning styles at the very start of the school year will enable teachers to better educate their students in the manner that is appropriate for individual students.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
It had never before occurred to him in such stark terms that his G-d and the G-d of his father were not the same. In fact, they were very different.
I know my own parents and in-laws gave my children so much love, time, and exciting outings that are remembered to this day!
To have him suddenly make an appearance in your life again must have been jarring, forcing you to relive the emotions you thought you had put to rest.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Yankel hated that question even as he knew it would always come. He understood the question wasn’t so much informational as it was a way that both he and his father and his family could be placed in a schnit, a familiar category.
In life, assertive people accomplish more and are able to establish healthy relationships while aggressive people tend to destroy relationships with those closest to them.
Tell them you have something to share with them and then calmly relate the truth. Apologize for not being forthcoming until this point and take ownership of this slight and the hurt your secrecy will have caused them.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
He knew he must marry, but it was like looking at the vast ocean from the shore, waiting for a ship that he couldn’t be sure even existed.
Another thing that may be occurring is trivializing you, by telling you that you are too sensitive when something bothers you.
Dating is real... There is no thunderous realization while standing in the pouring rain, no chasing a plane as it is about to take off, or any other love cliché you can think of.
Children who struggle with social skills are less likely to participate in class, less likely to ask important questions when they don’t understand something, and more likely to fall between the cracks.
Instead of contemplating divorce, use these feelings as a wake-up call to work on your marriage. Please seek professional help to work on making your life happier.
It bolsters us to hear that more than one or two people believe you would connect. This is especially true when everything else we learn, as far as character, personality, and middos feel right as well.
Textbooks can allow teachers to have a basis for their curriculum, but it is not a curriculum in and of itself.
I know it is best for you to be strong and not focus on this workmate. Don’t give her power to control your life.
We are all perfectly imperfect. When we start cataloging human beings for societal imperfections, we will always most definitely find something wrong.
Many people confuse the concepts of self-esteem and ego, assuming that if you believe in yourself you are automatically egoistic and arrogant.
The reason I feel so strongly about this safety device, is because I know first hand of very satisfied customers who have told me all sorts of stories on how it has gotten them out of thorny situations.
If overall everything seems so great, you wonder, why would you walk away over something small? Sure, there are a number of those “small” items, but surely, they are fixable, workable, or not even applicable in the near future. Still though, something doesn’t feel right.
We want to have the best job, the most well behaved children, the best hair or the tastiest challah. We make comparisons with other people and often weigh our own worth in relation to those comparisons.
We all should try to do chesed. However, we must protect our children when we do help others. We must guard their neshamas and try to keep our homes warm, loving and positive.
For an introvert, a date can feel like a huge obstacle that they are unable to scale. There is a lot of talking on dates.
November 6, 2026 
