יום שבת, ט״ו תשרי תשפ״זSaturday, September 26, 2026
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I was shocked to read that R.N. refers to the young men as boys. If they are boys, then maybe the mothers are right to have reservation with the suggestion of the shadchan.
You are doing so well. Dating is a challenge that often feels like a race without rules. Perhaps now is the perfect time to breathe and regroup.
Twice exceptional children have a combination of exceptional intellectual power and uncommonly formidable mental roadblocks.
My mother thinks of herself as a superior person, has very little feelings for other people, and probably suffers from a deep lack of self-esteem.
Of course, you are intimated and overwhelmed. The more focused you become on their bottom line, the more bargain basement you will feel.
Children with APD often do not recognize subtle differences between sounds in words, even though the sounds themselves are loud and clear.
Please do not behave passive-aggressively with the shadchan by continuously avoiding the shadchan's call, in regards to your response after a date.
There is always safety in numbers. Travel with a friend or two and agree to look out for one another and to travel back to your homes together at the end of the evening.
You know the material, but just don’t know how you will perform on the test. Try the power poses before. They will relax and empower you.
If it is your mehalech to drink wine (as per your Rav), then please make sure to be in a safe place and conduct yourself with dignity.
You get along and have not found any distinct deal-breaking flaws in one another. But marrying someone because they are just “fine” is not a kindness to yourself or to them.
Demystification is actually a wonderful tool for helping children overcome their learning disabilities because it enables children to understand how they learn.
All who have gone through this know the look. My mom then told me to lie about the years of my marriage and say two years, so that maybe their faces would not give you that look of “Oy, so sad.”
Be open with this special man, communicating your concerns so he can validate, problem-solve, and reassure you. Work together to assess your comfort level, his, and hers. Your willingness to “try” will be meaningful and precious to him.
If you must vary the routine, prepare your child in advance for those changes through logical explanations. If prepared in advance, the transition will ultimately be a lot smoother.
Clearly if he feels rejected, he may be using the passive aggressive jokes as a way of expressing his feelings.
Something that is valuable is often not placed on display. Money in a bank, jewelry in a safe, passports tucked away. Relationships that are meaningful and strong are also in need of protection and privacy.
Of course we are all human and can make mistakes, which can be hurtful, but we still need to all work on thinking before speaking.
Being someone that others feel they can rely on when they are in a bind is highly commendable. It is frustrating, however, to even the most noble giver...
The idea of mindfulness is to be present in your thoughts and actions. What that means is that when you are interacting with your child you are not worrying about the past or the future.
If we choose a path in which we try to bridge gaps by having a positive attitude and engaging in humor and happiness as well as blessing others, we ultimately will find pleasure in life.
Those we date and the one we eventually marry cannot be responsible for our self-worth. While it feels nice to know that others view you positively, we cannot rely on others to manage our self-esteem.
You mention that your husband was raised with these same painful jokes. Perhaps he was raised in a family where you were not allowed to discuss feelings, so he found a way to express his anger and frustration passively.
Realistically, you are no longer dating and the everyday schedules and routines we have with jobs, schooling, etc., can take away some of that inherent excitement that dating and the unknown offer.
A lot of this unique and personal language that you develop with your child happens until around the time your child starts sixth or seventh grade.
I work with many people who tell me painful things that people say to them. Often, these people are simply not thinking before they speak (most people don't mean to hurt others).
The focus of your dating will always revolve on the ability for your relationship to thrive and grow in a marriage. One of the most basic tenets of a couple’s success is their commitment to a foundation of a shared hashkafa.
Our experiences quite literally shape us – and more specifically – shape our brains.
Please don't make a huge issue out of this situation. As in all situations, the only person we can change is ourselves.
Any reaction offers direction and a chance for personal growth, should we be mindful and mature enough to listen to their response with humility and grace.
Unconditional love means that you love your children and even as you set high expectations for them, you understand that they will make mistakes and you will love them regardless. Children need to understand this as well.
Covid, which generally causes all of us anxiety, has definitely exacerbated it in individuals who suffer from anxiety disorders.
To quote that mildly famous song, “All you need is time, time, time...” (Love. Whatever. It’s semantics.)
The element of Pride comes into the experience when there is a sense that courage and recognition drove a belief in the significance of the moment.
If you hear yourself saying that you’ll probably be unhappy in your marriage soon, or that you’re probably really not happy now, you need to stop yourself and change that narrative.
After an enlightening conversation about your respective Covid beliefs, you worry that you have unearthed a divide too big to bridge...
The strongest distinguishing characteristic of introverts is their energy source: Introverts draw energy from their internal world of ideas, emotions, and impressions.
My question is do all our needs have to be fulfilled by our spouse? Maybe some of your needs can be met by siblings, good friends, or close cousins.
Whether you are set up by a shadchan, by a friend, or meet on your own at a singles event, take the time to do your research.
Women have a particularly difficult time with shame because there are different (often stricter) societal expectations for women as mothers, fashion figures, and careerists.
You must make sure your child is safe and try to put him back to bed, but do not awaken him or try to calm him, since he is probably sleeping.
You don’t believe that they would want you, when they could look for girls who come from standard frum homes, and parents who offer more.
Perhaps you really want to be frum, but it is hard for you right now because you don’t feel it as much as you want to, or as much as you feel that you have to.
You have been blessed. Hashem has offered you your zivug on the first try and the parts of ourselves that fight the brachos in our lives are trying to offer you doubt when there should only be joy.
Rather than attempting to modify behaviors right away, Dr. Greene advocates for solving the underlying problems.
My friend found out that one of my son’s rebbeim, who was close to him, insinuated that although he was a great boy with great middos, he was an average learner and would never amount to anything in the world of Torah.
Simply standing in place or talking only to those who approach you is not enough. Instead, make eye contact, smile, and engage anyone who seems exciting.
A teen might never feel that he is truly part of the group if he is constantly hiding parts of himself.
It appears that you are afraid of your own child. However, by doing nothing, you are hurting your son's ability to merit Olam HaBa.
Money can often be a source of discord in a marriage, and clear communication can help to circumvent any resentment or disagreement. This can be helped by immediately changing your view from "mine and yours" to "ours."
Sometimes, it’s hard not to view parenting as a chore. But, if you approach parenting as a burden, you will ultimately stumble because it is impossible to happily carry a burden for twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, for a lifetime.
Right now you are going through a very difficult time-period and you are in a lot of pain, but in order to crawl out of this sadness it is important to focus on all of the good things you have in life, no matter how small they seem.
We are only able to control ourselves, our actions and our behaviors. We can encourage, prod, and plead, but ultimately, we are only responsible for our own conduct.
By Baruch Lytle
Our goal was always to tell authentic stories from people who are choosing to be Orthodox but grappling with things that are difficult, all while showcasing real human emotion.
How can we become heroic parents? By helping our children learn how to create happiness in their own lives.
If you think that your daughter has some social anxiety or some difficulties socially, it may be prudent to get her some professional help. Before getting help, see if you can talk to her about what is really going on.
While research does not guarantee that you will connect in person, it does give your heart and mind the peace of mind to pursue someone with excitement and genuine interest.
It’s important to remember that children are children. They will act immaturely. But, if we love them unconditionally, they will mature.
He wants you to reassure her that you care about her, but minimize your exposure to her.
Chemistry is certainly a vital component of a successful future with your spouse. However, a frum background and the way we date often means that chemistry does not happen in scene two or three but rather with effort and intent.
Even though Leah is a good conversationalist and smiles constantly, she radiates tension. Her shoulders and eyebrows are noticeably raised, her voice is shrill and her body is stiff. Being around Leah makes many people feel uncomfortable.
Although there are many men who still crave to enter the world of chinuch, there is sometimes a lack of middos in how the rebbeim are treated and this can filter down to the children.
You made a decision that still means something to you and he decided that he needs a different path. This is hard, it hurts, and it’s extremely upsetting.
I know that changing can be a slippery slope and I am afraid of falling. How do I continue to be happy in my marriage while maintaining my inner sense of modesty?
Are there girls who have everything? Are there girls that are smart, beautiful, kind, fun, and the “perfect” height? Sure!
Children use their brain the most when they are engaged in free play. Try not to over-schedule your kids – leave a few afternoons a week empty so that your child can play at home.
I know of toxic situations where children had to cut off from their parents and this was advice they actually received from a Rav. This is generally not the norm.
You have not asked for sympathy, guidance or their opinion. Yet, you are not sure how you can stop the onslaught without calling more negative attention to yourself.
Many women do not realize they have ADHD until they bring their child in for an evaluation.
It is sad, but true, that many young girls fall in love with abusive boys and convince themselves that out of love these boys, as husbands, will treat them well.
You are happy with the way your dates have evolved, and may even have appreciated some advice from family along the way. Somewhere, though, boundaries were lost, and solicited opinions turned into a runaway train.
This idea of a growth mindset can also be called the “power of yet.” In other words, you are not there yet, but you can get there.
It is very possible that your children do not want to burden you more than necessary, so they wait till the very last minute to come.
I imagine that despite your best effort, you feel like you are failing to connect, and the more you worry about it, the more distant and disengaged you seem.
We might think that their anger is passion and their intractability a steadfast resolve to the ideas of right and wrong. Through this “touch-up” work, we turn our spouses flaws into strengths.
September 25, 2026 
