יום חמישי, ז׳ אלול תשפ״וThursday, August 20, 2026
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In your situation, you sound like a person who wants to do chesed but you are stuck in a situation where you are dealing with a very complicated, needy person.
Go back to the shadchan and ask if they ever use tinfoil pans versus real ones. Investigate their ongoing Shabbos purchases and detect if they have ever purchased take-out or used a plastic tablecloth.
Another by-product of the unattended classroom is the friendship crisis a great many children suffer. While most children eagerly await recess and lunchtime as cherished opportunities for fun with playmates, there are some children who experience loneliness and rejection during these unstructured periods.
The first thing you’re going to have to do is work on yourself to not be nervous when she comes as this already puts you in a mood where you feel upset and more sensitive.
I don’t think a cup of coffee is cheap. I don’t think a walk in the park is cheap. I don’t think a date that costs zero dollars is cheap. I do think however that your FOCUS on the cost of Java really refers to the lack of FOCUS on you.
By Nachum Segal
We pray better, we eat properly, we bring more purity and spirituality to our relationships. Separation equals closeness.
Children with experiential insatiability, are extremely hard to satisfy. School-related routines such as processing information and producing written work do not quell their appetites for intense experiences.
It is important to be respectful and assertive. You can respectfully share your wants and feelings while considering your spouse’s wants and feelings as well.
Think of questions that are both light and deeper to get to know your date as organically as possible while still focused on the goal: to see if you are compatible.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a common behavioral disorder that affects between 8-10% of school age children. Boys are three times more likely than girls to be diagnosed with ADHD.
It is important to realize that addressing a disrespectful boss requires a careful and strategic approach.
It is frustrating to go out, have a pleasant time and then hear that the other person does not want to see you again. It is even more upsetting, when this happens multiple times with multiple guys.
I believe that I went into therapy with naivete, and that the psychological professionals should offer a type of disclaimer, or warning, before starting with a patient.
Woman are looking for a man. This is more than a gender – it’s character. Women want someone they can rely on, emotionally, physically, and yes, monetarily.
Social competence enables us to know what to say, how to make good choices, and how to behave in diverse situations. The extent to which children and adolescents possess good social skills, say experts, can heavily influence their academic performance, social and family relationships, and later, their success on the job.
I will share some of my ideas, however, this is no substitute for therapy.
If they are lucky and nothing egregious or ‘red-flaggy’ happens on that first date, they go out again hoping to ease into ‘slight unease’ on their way to ‘dating comfortably.’ This is reality.
Many people believe that practice and a positive role model will solve all social issues, but what they do not understand is that sometimes people simply lack social intelligence when it comes to finding favor with others.
It is difficult to set boundaries, but we all have the challenge of where and how to give our maaser money. It is important that you tell your friend you love his chesed and that he is always trying to help others, but that it is hard for you to always feel you have to give to all the causes he is fighting for.
I can’t imagine that you expect that everyone who goes on a date is immediately attracted and excited about the person they meet. I would boldly suggest that many people who go on first dates are less than thrilled about their dates’ first impression.
Children are not given choices and thus cannot shield themselves from failure; we expect them to be competent, if not expert, in a whole array of school basics.
I am printing your column with an answer in the hope that you will send this letter to your brother-in-law, and it will impact the way he is treating you, his sister, and your marriage.
At the very least, take a few minutes every day to sit quietly, to intentionally relax your muscles and to release the stress and knots that have certainly taken root under your skin.
Many students adapt very well to school; they feel good about themselves and their school work. For others, however, school is threatening. Getting through an average school day for some children is fraught with anxiety-producing situations and painful moments.
Imagine the tremendous improved relations that can occur if we truly attempt to open our minds to divergent mindsets.
Today, daters are careful when they determine what characteristics matter to them. I hear a lot of words like, smart, outgoing, ambitious, spontaneous, and educated. These are all good words.
If comparing bullying to bullfighting seems very harsh, ask a child who was bullied.
A covert narcissist is sometimes called a vulnerable narcissist and can be emotionally fragile and very sensitive to criticism. Covert narcissists may outwardly show what looks like empathy, but their underlying purpose is to get you to engage with them so they serve their own needs in some way.
The disorder is far more disabling than people realize, and consumes untold hours and outputs of energy.
It is hard to feel happy, or even content, when our brothers and sisters are hostages and others are fighting for us. But, unless we channel these feelings into davening and chesed – good deeds, they are extremely unhelpful feelings.
The only way to fix this is by changing the game. Instead of two parties, we need three.
Although she is well-behaved and articulate in class discussions, on the playground she will frequently barge in on other children's play or conversations.
Look for things to do to help others. When we give to others we are giving to ourselves as we feel better and more productive.
Let me start by saying that I hope you meet in the middle. It would be wonderful if you were both on the same page in hashkafa and could ride off into the aqueduct, er, sunset.
She was moody and remote, absorbed in her books. She did well in school with barely any effort but her social skills lagged far behind her academic achievement.
Your husband, as you report, has been raised in a home where his mother was completely dependent on his father. Thus, his expectation is for you to be the same way on some level.
When something is not working, when something feels unhealthy, or unproductive it’s smart to step away. Sometimes we need to remove ourselves so we can see what hasn’t been right for us.
The key to knowing where to start is to understand the four levels of communication.
It started at the young age of 12 when I became associated with one of the leading rabbis of the last 100 years, Rav Avigdor Miller. He was a genius in human relations and I sucked up as much knowledge as I could learn from him.
All drugs carry risks such as grogginess and other side effects. You should consult your healthcare provider before using any medication.
Sit down with your parents, a dating coach, a trusted mentor, or rebbetzin. Tell them how you feel and how you DON’T feel. Be honest and forthcoming without shame.
For most children, basic social skills (e.g. initiating conversation, working cooperatively, respecting boundaries, observing conventional rules of courtesy) are acquired naturally.
You should move if you want to move, but you shouldn’t feel pressured by what other people do or by what other people tell you to do.
Chanie’s mother tried to salvage the situation by calling her daughter to the side and whispering a few succinct reproaches in her ear.
Compliments are gifts of love, but they only work if they are sincere and are given freely, without coercion.
Sure, I would not be so glib as to deny that our appearance and even size matter in shidduchim. Perhaps there is even a point in being mindful of what we eat regardless of size or weight. Yet, this question impacts you as a whole, your life, and your goals that supersedes dating.
OCD was long assumed to be purely psychological, the mind's reaction to overly-strict parents or abnormal emphasis on cleanliness. Scientists now believe it is the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain.
Is your wife using the silent treatment as a manipulation tactic or is she using it because she doesn’t know how to talk about her feelings?
Be vulnerable. This can feel scary at first, but it is the only way that you will know if you are dating someone worthy of your trust and love.
It makes a parent feel both helpless and angry at the same time. Helpless at the thought of having no control whatsoever over the situation. And angry that your child insists on behaving irrationally and well beyond acceptable modes of behavior.
It is a good idea to start with giving the other person the benefit of the doubt. Some people truly do not realize that they interrupt others often, thus if you frame your words objectively, you are more likely to produce behavioral change.
I would argue that finding your bashert trumps sightseeing and as far as I am aware, couples are still allowed on planes, not just singles.
Black and white thinking is considered to be a cognitive distortion by psychologists because it stops people from seeing life as it truly is, complex, uncertain, and always changing.
It is infectious and we become transfixed by our screens, and laugh and cry at the weddings of strangers who understand so clearly that a wedding is about marriage, love, and the future.
Research shows that children do need friends, however, they do not need tons of friends nor do they need friends to surround them 24/7.
In order to deal with the anxiety you are feeling, you need to identify what you are thinking. You are likely having anxious thoughts. These thoughts are probably swimming around your mind all day and are exacerbating your anxious feelings.
Dearest Minimizers, please, I beg you, listen to me. We know that there are varied levels of sorrow. But our pain counts. It matters, and it should be acknowledged.
Why bring up the concept of emotional intelligence when discussing shidduchim? The answer is simple: if a young adult has a low EQ, no matter how smart or accomplished she is, she will never be able to show that to her prospective mate.
Treatment for emotional detachment depends on the reason that is happening. It is important to seek professional help to see why you are having difficulty connecting to others.
It is specifically during sorrow that we feel happiness so acutely. It is then that we truly understand how precious joy can be. How fleeting it can be. We can see blessings so clearly and know that they are gifts that must be cherished.
We all deal with anger once in a while. But, during the teenage years, anger is something that can take over both teenagers’ and parents’ lives.
Notice the positive in your life. When you take time to notice positive moments in your day, your experience of that day becomes more positive.
Once someone learns how to manage their time, they often find that they have more time for things that they enjoy doing. Additionally, when you manage your time effectively you are generally more productive, less stressed, and have more energy.
As a general rule, distinguish between what is in our control and what is out of our control. We can control ourselves, but not those around us.
When mazel and bracha are offered to you, say YES. Do not pass on a first. This is dismissing a gift that has been presented to you.
When we face hardship, we often refocus on what is necessary and right and leave pettiness behind. Perhaps now we can take to heart the objective that dating has always had- to get married and to build a bayit ne’eman b’yisrael.
It makes sense that emotional intelligence is important when on a date. You are, after all, talking about emotions and feelings.
It would also be helpful for you to go outside of your comfort zone and try new things. The more you broaden your social circle, the more people you will meet, and while you will not be best friends with everyone you meet, you will have more people to hang out with.
As you described, too much comparison leads to unhappiness and low self-esteem. It can also lead to feelings of frustration, jealousy, and hopelessness.
Dating is a commitment. Both parties need to be fully invested and focused on connection, advancement, and the future. When things are going well, this is even more important. Taking an extended break now, can deter the progress that you have made.
As your fathers’s cognitive function continues to decline, his daily life will change. It’s important to create a routine to help reduce confusion and disorientation.
When your family, the shadchan, or a friend, offers you information about a potential match - inquire about her home life and the type of house she grew up in.
Because written language can be compared to a code, knowing the sounds of letters and letter combinations helps children decode words as they read. Knowing phonics will also helps students know which letters to use as they write words.
Only use your bed for sleep, so your body knows what to expect when you’re in bed.
There are a million reasons why a wife must forego “extras” because they are not able to cover the cost. But this is not low maintenance or high maintenance. This is life as we hope to work toward more comforts in the future.
Though a six-year-old may seem a bit young for bullying, it is great to catch the behavior early because studies have shown that those who act as bullies seem to maintain these characteristics into adulthood, often negatively influencing their ability to develop mature adult relationships.
Building a relationship is a skill. If it’s something you need to work on, you can easily improve.
August 14, 2026 
