יום חמישי, ז׳ אלול תשפ״וThursday, August 20, 2026
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You are now a girl in shidduchim. This means that everywhere you go and anyone you meet has the potential to help you or hinder you.
The first thing you can do is show her how her passion is really connected to academics... Aside from the ways that her goal can be linked academically, this will also help your daughter gain self-esteem.
Even just deciding you will work on the task for 15-30 min can help kickstart the activity and prevent more procrastination.
Not only do children who read proficiently have an easier time in all academic areas, they also are more capable in social situations.
It is imperative to keep in mind that whatever is happening, Hashem runs the world and whatever happens in your life is part of a bigger plan.
Ironically, no one knows just how hard these children are trying, yet they continue to fail miserably because their minds simply do not work the way normative reading instruction is taught.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
A woman is a woman not for nothing. They desire. Perhaps more than we do. They are trying to wake themselves up, or us. It is not the way, but remember: They want to please us too.
Most people who procrastinate usually don’t want to, though sometimes we procrastinate doing a non-preferred task or a task that we feel is boring, frustrating or unpleasant.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Is it really forbidden, such a thing? I don’t take such a dim view of your father, as you know. Yes, he’s impossibly cheap and self-centered, but he wants to live.
Keep in mind that isolated symptoms are not an indication of dyslexia. Rather, it is only manifest when three or four symptoms consistently appear as a part of a pattern.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
A shudder went through Yankel when he heard that. She likes the city – a place of gentile and Jewish tumah, impurities! He had to admire it in a way. She didn’t feel responsible for her ideas and she could fling them all into the wind and could care less what would come down where.
I am starting with this request. I do not know this gentleman. However, it is my effort to give singles a chance to reach out directly. Please research any person printed in the column.
Recent studies have shown that children and adults who read fiction are better able to empathize with people in life. Perhaps exploring the emotional lives of others allows the reader to step into the shoes of the real people they interact with daily.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Yankel paused as though to ponder or measure his words. One could see in such moments the Eastern European rabbi in him. The white shirt with a floppy collar, the black suit, gray-patterned tie – the seriousness of Everything.
When you spend special, alone time with your daughter and give her undivided attention, you can build her self-esteem by giving her specific praise and just by making her feel valuable because of the time and positive attention you are giving her.
Girls tend to do more of the “mean girl” syndrome. The bullying is more underhanded and veiled. There is taunting and verbal abuse... On the other hand, with boys, you see more of the physical bullying: hitting and using physical aggression to intimidate.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Quite frankly, I feel terrible, but also great. I had always felt old, but now I feel young even though it feels like my body has been broken into two.
I am not sure if you are involved in a frenemy relationship as you did not share any details. If you feel this is a negative relationship for you, there are positive ways to disengage from a frenemy relationship.
Health and exercise are not WHO you are. It is something very important to you. I must assume that there are other things that you value as well.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Yankel had never before been physically assaulted. He was out of breath and overcome with adrenaline. One of the policemen helped Yankel down the subway stairs. He sat him down on a chair and spoke to him.
Most negative and anxious messages we give ourselves are irrational.
Someone who knows the person well, or even someone who has previously dated a girl or guy can be a great resource in learning about a potential match. However, a real understanding of a prospective date can also lack objective and may contain personal bias.
Whole books have been devoted to studying why boys lag behind girls in terms of their reading skills and here are some of the reasons that scientists and educators have compiled.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
The crafty caterer perked up in his chair: He knew he had a fish on the line. Yankel could see it all, with his new eyes that took in everything these days.
The first step is recognizing that someone is not a good friend for you, which you seem to have noticed, at least on some level. Even if this friend is supportive at times, you should never feel that a friend is trying to destroy your self-esteem.
Yes, it is true that we must devote a huge amount of our time and energy to dating. Yes, we need to make dating a priority and be willing to accommodate the opportunities that come our way. Still, you are not ONLY someone who is dating.
When parents talk to their children as if they have a mind of their own and treat their children as individuals, they encourage children to look at others as individuals with their own feelings and emotions.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Leah’s father yawned and sat up and banged a hand on the dashboard. This car, zul’n zein a kapara – should be an atonement for all my sins.
I cannot say one definitive thing that will end the shidduch crisis, but we definitely have to work on being open minded and stopping to pigeon hole everyone.
I think singles everywhere can safely assume that when we encounter them, we are all truly hoping and praying that they meet their right match soon.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
It pleased Leah’s father that the Rosh HaYeshiva had accorded him such respect. He was beside himself with pleasure.
It is terrifying to see our parents age. We want our parents to age because that means we have them for longer. It is so special to have the zechus to have parents, but it is difficult to know what to do when we are faced with challenging decisions.
You have been blessed to meet your right match and you are now preparing to spend your lives together. Yet, now that the excitement of your dating and engagement has waned somewhat, you are feeling unsure of how to proceed.
Many of the challenges and subsequent skills necessary for sleepaway camp are relevant for young men and women who go to yeshivos and seminaries in Israel after high school.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Yankel was hurt by Leah’s remark, only more so because it was true. The chabura was a motley, ragtag crew. To even call them a chabura was an embarrassment.
I don’t want you to minimize the devotion that your mother demonstrates to her family. Closeness and devotion are very important. As Jewish mothers we all struggle with some degree of enmeshment.
You are in a difficult position. While I commend your commitment to meeting new people by attending events, the lack of a matchmaker seems to ultimately be slowing you down.
Social skills or interpersonal skills include verbal language, as well as our tone of voice, volume, inflection, and choice of words. They also include body language, gestures, and other non-verbal communication methods.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
He couldn’t make up his mind if this was beautiful or ugly. Women – the torture of women!
It is interesting that you now appreciate how the chassidim date. Many people who are not from the chassidishe world cannot understand or fathom that a couple can get engaged after three meetings and be happy together.
Of course, you could meet your future husband next week, but realistically you know that there is no timetable, and you can’t help but feel the road shift, leaving you waiting at the curb.
The process of shidduchim can be a challenging and complex journey for young individuals. Navigating the expectations of family and community, as well as developing effective communication and social skills, can be daunting for many individuals in the shidduch process.
No spouse can make you happy. You have to find happiness within yourself and then you can build a loving relationship.
You are not the first couple to mesh differing backgrounds. Many have created families enriched by the flavors of both of their childhoods to create beautiful homes.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Yankel was puzzled. He was young, he was old. It didn’t feel like a compliment either way. Now he wasn’t to talk about it – but they were full steam ahead anyway.
It is interesting that you now appreciate how the chassidim date. Many people who are not from the chassidishe world cannot understand or fathom that a couple can get engaged after three meetings and be happy together.
Even though he didn’t display any more “red flags” on the rest of your date, you are concerned that this behavior is not something you should ignore. Was this just a bad moment? Or was your interaction a forecasting of a turbulent future; a discussion that must not be ignored.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Meanwhile the older woman studied the younger hard, from a distance. It was bizarre for Yankel to watch his mother stare to the point of crudeness.
Nothing you do will really calm the drama, but if you and your wife can change your perspective, it may make everything easier to bear and thus make you feel calmer (which will ultimately calm the house down as well).
Even when we are comfortable working toward a future with someone, we can feel blindsided by our date’s easy understanding of what a lifetime together would look like.
Let’s discuss the possible solutions to the pressure you are feeling. Your family believes that a certain number of dates should determine an engagement. If you believe them – propose!
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Yankel’s father held on to his son’s hand for a brief moment. I was passing by and I was seized by the urge to see this place. I hadn’t planned on disturbing you, but I was recognized by one of your yeshiva bochur friends who insisted on fetching you.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Yankel was a bit pained and puzzled by this question. Surely, Leah was familiar with the way things were done in the yeshiva world. She had to know that this was a complicated matter.
As the caregiver, you must not fall into the trap of not caring for yourself. You do not want to get sick yourself emotionally or physically.
We don’t date in rom-coms, we don’t date in romance novels, and we don’t date through insta-stories. We date in reality.
Some say listening works best While others like observing the rest. Some students say they focus more When music, talking, or moving is in store. Others like to sit down and write Knowing the details is what makes them bright.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Hat on his head, Yankel walked a brisk step to Leah’s house. His thoughts kept him lively company, and the twenty-minute walk felt like five. Leah was waiting at the door. He noticed the glint of her earrings and then looked away.
If you are simply reliant on someone else, it doesn’t mean that you are co-dependent. In a healthy relationship, each person can rely on the other for a variety of needs.
Kudos to you for seeing past an outfit on your dates. You knew immediately that here in fact the clothes don’t make the man” and you understand how precious his character and good middos are.
There are amazing resources available for note taking called graphic organizers. Graphic organizers are visual aids that can help students succinctly and quickly write down information.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
This is reality. There will always be somebody you don’t like or doing something you don’t like. You can’t walk out. What will be with us when there is a problem? Are you going to walk out on us?
Are you choosing happiness? Are you focusing only on your problems? Or are you focusing on all the blessings that Hashem has given you?
Yes, a Pesach program can be a wonderful opportunity for you to meet new singles. For those who are up for it, it can be a helpful gift in a dating journey. At the same time however, you need a break. You need the time to rest and you need the time away.
Creating or studying images can help your daughter’s brain better store the information.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
They waited in silence for the train to glide into the station. When they got on the train, Leah said, I missed you.
In a world obsessed with fame we must fiercely protect ourselves from the smoke and mirrors that is social media.
It is also important to remember that these older children have been through a lot! Losing a parent is very difficult and even though they are so fortunate to have rebuilt their family, it is still a big challenge for them.
Dysgraphia can manifest itself as difficulties with spelling, poor handwriting and trouble putting thoughts on paper. However, children who suffer from dysgraphia often have reading skills that are on par with other children their age.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
A thought, any thought, was as good as any other perhaps, but it was isolated, cut off. Binyamin was an island.
When going to a therapist for premarital counseling, it would likely be more prudent to go to a neutral therapist so they can be honest with both of you.
As you get older, the circle of potential guys becomes smaller and smaller. While there might be eligible men from a similar background that you may not have met yet, the possibilities grow smaller every day.
It’s hard to imagine that reading can have such profound effects, but studies show that the benefits of reading instruction on children with Down syndrome extend far beyond the classroom.
By Alter Yisrael Shimon Feuerman
Yankel would get out of there as soon as he could. What was there to linger for? Did his father want his approval?
This woman's well-being is hostage to her ex-husband's secret life as she cannot seek the emotional support she and her child need.
You feel maligned by the raised eyebrows and funny looks. May I be so bold as to suggest that their reactions are merely surprise at your good fortune?
Like your daughter, gifted children tend to enjoy speaking to people who are on their mental level. This often means that they will have trouble communicating with children who are not as bright as they are.
August 14, 2026 
