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Features On The Jewish World / From the Paper

The Frum Chess Grandmaster And The Lubavitcher Rebbes

By Saul Jay Singer

Though Fischer reacted viscerally to even the suggestion that he was Jewish – he was, in fact, a vicious anti-Semite, Holocaust denier, and Israel-hater – his mother was Jewish and his biological father probably was as well.

Fink or Swim

Can One Be a Shomer Torah u’Mitzvos and Accept Bible Criticism?

By Rabbi Eliyahu Fink

Historians currently assume the Bible was written between 720 BCE and 587 BCE, between the destruction of the Northern Kingdom and the destruction of Jerusalem.

Emes Ve-Emunah

Is it True that 'No One Really Frum Has a TV'?

By Harry Maryles

With this comment Rabbi Schneierson wiped out of Orthodoxy most of observant Jewry including many Haredim.

Marriage and Relationships

Lessons For Drivers

By Dr. Yael Respler

Dear Dr. Yael: I am a female driver dealing with challenges of derech eretz while driving in my community. Every time the light is about to turn green, the person behind me seems to immediately honk the horn, yet no one has a problem double-parking, making me feel as if I am driving on an obstacle course.

Israel / Politics

Israel’s Political Map As Confusing As Ever

By Steve K. Walz

JERUSALEM – While it is almost certain that Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu will form the next Israeli coalition government, the country’s confusing electoral system has created another medley of instant political parties headed by a variety of media celebrities and scorned politicians.

Op-Eds

It's Not Always Critical

By Rabbi Yehoshua Grunstein

As the worse in now behind us, and yet with restorations efforts still ahead of us, I believe that the terms utilized so widely this week to describe a terrible predicament should force us to reconsider their use when, thankfully, tragedy doesn’t strike. Though my heart and soul are with those hurt by the storm, I am disturbed that so many of these very adjectives are commonly used to describe common occurrences, a far cry from the critical situation that so many Americans on the East Coast are facing.

Op-Eds / Parenting Our Children

When All Else Fails, Play Gin Rummy

By Noach Schwartz

He recognized me before I recognized him. We were in Yerushalayim on different sides of the street. He was six foot two waving and yelling my name. “Noach, Noach, Noach Schwartz, the social worker! It’s me Yechiel Klein! Don’t you remember me?” He was wearing a hat, white shirt and suit and looked like a regular bochur from the Mir or Brisk. He did not look like the Yechiel I had met ten years earlier at a clinic in Boro Park.

Marriage and Relationships

The Shidduch-Shy

By Dr. Candida Abrahamson

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.” Thus begins Jane Austen’s classic marriage-themed novelwork of marriage, Pride and Prejudice.

On Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

Free Choice Vs Costly Obedience

By Cheryl Kupfer

Over the past few weeks, I, like many of you, have received wedding invitations, and I truly hope that the young couples-to-be have chosen wisely and will enjoy long and fruitful unions.

Chronicles of Crises

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities

By dvora

Candies are given as rewards in school. I remember when we got stars and stickers. Why are the yeshivas – our "frum culture" – equating reward with gashmius (materialism), and unwholesome at that! Bad for mind and body. Stop it already!

Marriage and Relationships

Shidduchim: Why Personality Compatibility Matters

By Dr. Yael Respler

Dear Readers: Much of my private practice is devoted to helping couples in conflict resolve their differences. I have discovered over the years that personality compatibility is an essential component of a happy marriage. Many of the couples I see in therapy struggle with reconciling radically different modes of communicating and coping with life’s issues. As a result, it is often the case that arguments ensue, empathy is strained and estrangement sets in. With that as a backdrop, here are several fictitious vignettes of couples that are personality incompatible.

Marriage and Relationships

An Appeal To Readers

By Dr. Yael Respler

Dear Readers: It is Motzei Rosh Hashanah as I write this letter. I have been a therapist for over thirty years and devote a large part of my practice to marital and pre-marital therapy. This year I have had many clients seeking my services after they sought help from other frum therapists. Regarding this, I wish to address the following phenomena:

Front Page

A Colossal But Essential Pain In The Neck

By dvora

Seven years ago, I was approached by a group of friends with an unexpected request. Would I be interested in running for trustee of my local public school district?

Emes Ve-Emunah

Credible Suspicion

By Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

Those of us familiar with the do's and don'ts of accepted practice in the mental health profession saw similar blaring warning lights in our minds, as should have occurred when the facts were made public regarding the accusations against Nehemia Weberman. This case may very well be our community’s most important abuse trial during our lifetimes. It is imperative that we have a huge turnout in support of the victim, a courageous young lady who, may she be gezunt andge’bentched, is determined to see this through to the end so others won't suffer like she did.

Marriage and Relationships

The Secret of Turning Misery into Happiness

By Dr. Yael Respler

Feeling like a prisoner, I went along with a shidduch she wanted for me. Baruch Hashem, the girl was sweet and beloved. But I held out hope that after the wedding I'd be able to ask my wife to gradually change. I knew this could cause problems, but I was hopeful. Sadly, after 12 years of marriage and six children, my situation is the same; my wife is unwilling to change. As a matter of fact, contrary to what I had hoped for, the opposite is happening: my wife wants me to change. She says that I am too modern and should become more frum.

Op-Eds

Revaluing Motherhood

By Ziona Greenwald, J.D.

It is ten o'clock in the morning. I am at a local park with my daughter. A number of children are climbing and sliding, imbibing the fresh air. In their orbit are a smaller number of women, some milling around on foot, others sitting on the benches conversing and minding strollers. Trailing my own child, I play a silent game: Who is a Mommy? Which, if any, of these women (who range from lovingly attentive to disturbingly disengaged) are the children's mothers, and which are babysitters?

Op-Eds

Struggling With Homosexuality

By Yitzi Horowitz

The Gemarah in Kiddushin (82a) indicates that homosexuality is not something that Jews have to deal with because “Jews are not suspect to be homosexual”. In fact the Rambam (Issurei Biah 22:2) uses this Gemarah as a basis for a Halachik ruling. So, how do we understand this Gemara and Rambam in the light of the many people who present to therapy struggling with this issue?

On Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

Preventing Wedding Waste And Wedding Waist

By Cheryl Kupfer

With the Three Weeks and its social restrictions as they pertain to simchas behind us, heimishe Yidden everywhere are "dusting off" their party clothes, taking their jewelry out of the safe and getting ready to attend a multitude of weddings - with some people invited out on an almost daily basis.

Potpourri

A Tale Of A Recovering Internet Addict

By Henia

What exactly is the definition of an Internet addiction? Just how out of control does one have to be to qualify as having a true addiction?

Battling Addictions

Road To Recovery

By Brocha Silverstein

Dear Readers, I do not regret the past, nor do I wish to shut the door on it. I am now able to understand, feel serenity and know peace. No matter how far down the road I have traveled, I now see how my experiences can benefit others. This is part of the Al-Anon/Nar-anon 12 promises that can be achieved by everyone who “works it.” But I am getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning:

Lessons In Emunah

The Cat Lady’s Message

By Henia

I was going crazy. I couldn’t stand it another minute. Yes, I was feeling sorry for myself. I had been blessed, b’li ayin hara, with children very close in age. Surely having one child after the other was a blessing to be grateful for. I knew there were many people who would give a million dollars to have such a “problem.” But still, it was very stressful. But that wasn’t the hardest part, and it wasn’t the main reason for my feelings of despair.

Parenting Our Children

July 19, 2012 - An Open Letter To Anyone Who Cares

By Jewish Press Staff

A couple of years ago The Jewish Press published a letter I wrote about how people treat “kids/teens off the derech.” I wrote about my daughter who had totally left religion and how I felt people could make a difference in these children’s lives; they either inspire them or turn them off. The response to my letter was overwhelming. People contacted me wanting to help and others wrote about their children in similar situations.

Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

Another Family Torn Asunder

By Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

My previous two columns focused on the fragmentation that has affected one frum family. Many readers may consider the story described to be a rare occurrence. I wish this would be the case. To be sure, each family crisis is its own unique tragedy, but the common thread of hatred is always there.

Op-Eds

I Am Haredi

By Rabbi Yaakov Rosenblatt

I am haredi. I was born in Brooklyn, went to mainstream haredi elementary and high schools, spent two years in Mir Yerushalayim and attended kollel at Beth Medrash Govoha in Lakewood, New Jersey. I wear a black hat on Shabbos and dark pants and a white shirt much of the week. My yarmulke is large, black and velvet, and being a frum and inspired Jew is my most basic self-definition, on par with being human and male.

Marriage and Relationships

Ignoring The Hurtful Comments Of Others

By Dr. Yael Respler

Dear Dr. Yael: I am, Baruch Hashem a happily married woman of 10 years with two children. As I am trying to expand my family, it seems that Hashem has other plans for me (my husband and I have not been able to conceive another child). Of course we want more children, but we can only do our hishtadlus and leave the rest up to Hashem.

Tevye in the Promised Land

Tevye in the Promised Land, Chapter Five: A Husband For Ruchel

By Tzvi Fishman

When Tevye walked back to his wagon, Ruchel was missing. Tzeitl reported that a young man from the village had unharnessed Tevye's horse and taken it to the barn for a feeding. Apparently, he had taken Ruchel with him. Tevye's eyebrows rose in surprise. Of all of his daughters, Ruchel most resembled his Golda.

Op-Eds

When Yeshiva Day School Is No Longer A Viable Option

By Vanessa Brooks

The day school tuition crisis is not new. It has been brewing for years. School costs continue to rise while unemployment and underemployment remain high. And one also needs money to live in a neighborhood with shuls and mikvehs, to buy kosher food, to make proper simchas, to cover Yom Tov expenses, etc.

Arts

Itshak Holtz Drawings

By Richard McBee

Examining a choice selection of drawings done by Itshak Holtz over 30 years ago is a rare pleasure that allows for the appreciation of his unique sensitivity and insights. I was afforded that pleasure at the inaugural exhibition of the Betzalel Gallery in Crown Heights this past May. Although this modest selection of 25 drawings and watercolors of this paradigmatic frum artist ranges from 1963 to 1999, the majority of the works is from the 1970s and reveals a special aspect of his inner artistic soul. The selection of images could easily narrate the fabric of ordinary Jewish life.

Interviews and Profiles

State Senator Storobin on Gay Marriage and Simcha Felder as an Opponent

By Yafit Fishbach

The Jewish Press sat down in its Brooklyn offices with Republican State Senator David Storobin.

Op-Eds

Miracles In Moscow

By Molly Resnick

“If you put Google, Apple, and Microsoft together, it still doesn’t compare to the miracles of Jewish renaissance I have witnessed in this country,” I said to two reporters from The New York Times and Moscow Times.

Judaism

'Frumer' than God?

By Rabbi Yehoshua Grunstein

I am deeply concerned that a new religion, though close to Judaism but not part of it, is being formed based on a so-called "frumkeit" not defined as a mere "Chumra" [stringency], but rather actually violating clear laws and regulations set down by God for the Jewish people to follow

Book Reviews

Title: Rav HaKolel, A Biography Of Rabbi Yaakov Yosef

By Rabbi Avraham Kelman

In the 1880s, a substantial immigration of Jews poured into New York from all parts of Europe, Russia, and Galicia. They were eager to escape the hard life of poverty and lack of peace back home, but the reality in America was not as they had expected it to be. It was hard to find work; it was a struggle for mere existence.

Rebbetzin's Viewpoint

‘My Joy In Judaism Has Disappeared’

By Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

Raised in a secular family, she followed the usual pattern of the last couple of generations, placing marriage on the back burner in favor of relationships.

On Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

How Refusing To Be Ruth-less Led To Moshiach

By Cheryl Kupfer

By now just about all of us are in summer mode, and Yom Tov cheesecake and blintzes are out of our minds - though not necessarily off our bodies. Nonetheless, the topic I am addressing is tied to the festival of Shavuot, as I wrote it just after the holiday had ended. (This time warp often occurs when addressing deadlines ahead of time, a necessity when I know that visiting a near minyan of pre-school grandchildren in three cities will make writing a coherent column rather challenging).

Lessons In Emunah

Neighborly Chesed: Above And Beyond

By dvora

My husband and I are living in our house for over 30 years. We have wonderful neighbors on both sides. The one on the right, a non-frum Jewish couple, lived in their house longer than we’ve resided in ours. We always got along very well with them, as they are unusually kind, friendly and helpful people.

Op-Eds

Storming The Gates Of Heaven For A Miracle

By Michelle Goldkrantz

On January 31, my family’s world was turned upside down. I received a phone call from my mother early in the morning. “Go to Baltimore, your sister is sick. Daddy and I are flying up today [from Florida]. Her organs are shutting down. It’s bad.”

Op-Eds

Installing My Internet Filter

By Rabbi Yaakov Rosenblatt

Tonight I installed an Internet filter. I have always disliked filters as they slow down my computer and have been an annoyance. But the asifa at Citi Field focused my attention and an extra safeguard is worth infinitely more than the discomfort it engenders.

jBlogs

Being Gay and Orthodox Gets Really Complicated

By Tibbi Singer

Our recent discussions in the Jewish media of gay marriages and the conflict between being a faithful Jew and being gay reminded me of a really old joke. A matchmaker comes up to a yeshiva guy, takes him aside and says, "Have I got a shidduch for you!" "Who?" "Princes Margaret." "What?" Trust me, she's […]

Marriage and Relationships

Boundless Miracles Available For The Taking

By Dr. Yael Respler

Dear Dr. Respler: The holidays are a great time to learn about ourselves – the good, the bad and the ugly – and then try to make lemonade from the lemons, turn the positive into building blocks, and generally create good things from the lessons learned. The Yamim Tovim are saturated with kedushah, leading to beautifully crafted creations from what one learned and experienced during these holy, spiritual days.

Lessons In Emunah

Was There A Coincidence In The Air?

By dvora

My daughter, son-in-law and three children had reason to move to Buffalo, NY from Brooklyn this past summer. As we watched our grandchildren’s cute little faces peeled and waving through the back window, we knew we were in for a huge adjustment. We knew we would obviously miss them but we also were aware that we gave our children wings to do as they saw necessary (and they saw it necessary to drive seven hours away to their new home).

Marriage and Relationships

Acting Respectfully Always Pays Off

By Dr. Yael Respler

Dear Dr. Yael: Although I agree with your advice to A Passive Reader (Showing Respect Gets Results, 4-20) about how to deal with difficult people, I emphatically disagree with your decision to take the blame for the impatient frum guy who was honking his horn. If you saw him run someone over with his car, would you take the blame for that too? If you had gotten a ticket, would you have paid it? If the officer had arrested you, would you have gone to jail? I am not a rabbi, but I would be surprised if not informing means taking the blame as well.

Front Page

Extreme Makeover: Orthodox Edition 2012

By Allison Josephs

By now everyone has heard of Deborah Feldman’s Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots. The book received much more attention than it should have.

Marriage and Relationships

Showing Respect Gets Results

By Dr. Yael Respler

Dear Dr. Respler: At the recent wedding of my best friend’s son, I arrived for the chuppah early so as to secure a seat close to the front and by the aisle. I didn’t want to miss anything.

Chronicles of Crises

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities

By dvora

Reflection, Rebuke and Reverberations…An open letter to Deborah Feldman

Halacha & Hashkafa

Coming To Shul To Think

By Rabbi J. Simcha Cohen

Question: If a person has a number of personal concerns that need to be thought out and analyzed, can he go to shul to do this?

Op-Eds

Kerovim Or Rechokim: Where Should Our Kiruv Priorities Lie?

By Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer

As rav of the Brooklyn Jewish Experience, a local kiruv organization devoted to reaching out to Brooklyn’s almost 70 percent non-observant Jewish population, I also teach and counsel young adults (18-33 years old) from the frum community. These students are often indistinguishable from their frum peers. Outwardly they may appear frum, but inwardly they’re disenchanted, jaded, and alienated. Their exterior appearance is largely a façade and their feeling of disenfranchisement from frumkeit is frighteningly real. There are others that are part of our program who, tragically, already took the next step and are no longer observant.

Family

Twisted Values and the Tyranny of Short-sightedness: A Plea to Love Our Daughters as Much as We “Love” Our Sons

By Dr. Rivka Starck

Yes, beauty plays a role in courtship. But when we allow it to rule, then we – not beauty – become our daughters’ tyrants. We are fearful our daughters will remain single for too long, and so we grasp at straws – thin, brittle, unstable straws. But “extreme makeovers” and intensifying their already ample body-image anxieties are not the answer.

Family / Potpourri

Purim And The Tyranny Of Beauty: A Plea to Mothers of Girls in Shidduchim

By Yitta Halberstam Mandelbaum

I know I’m going to be crucified, but if the appeal I make below helps even one girl in shidduchim, then it will be worth all the fury and outrage that shall inevitably descend upon my soon-to-be beleaguered head.

Marriage and Relationships

To A Lonely Wife: Give It A Rest!

By Dr. Yael Respler

Dear Dr. Yael: I read the March 2 letter from A Lonely Wife who feels unappreciated and neglected as she seeks more attention from her husband. It is necessary for her to receive a reality check – in other words, mussar. While apparently having it all, she is unfulfilled. Well, how would she feel if […]

Potpourri

A Prayer From The Heart

By Rabbi Michoel Gros

Jonathan, who once wondered how he would ever get his son close to Hashem, now knows he wasn’t the only one who wanted it. Hashem had an interest in it as well, and made it all come together.

On Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

Bully To You, Haman

By Cheryl Kupfer

Purim is just a few days away, and Jews young and old are gearing up to celebrate this most festive of holidays, during which all will eat, drink and nosh merrily and in great relief over our come-up-from-behind triumph against a vicious Jew hater whose goal was to annihilate the Jewish people, but who instead had the tables turned against him in a dramatic and unforeseen manner. Sadly, bullying is alive and well in the 21st century afflicting all societies and the individuals that comprise them. For those who think that our heimishe communities have been spared the scourge of bullying - it's time to get their head out of the cholent.

Potpourri

Frum Fairytales: The Alternative To ‘Princess And The Pea’

By dvora

There once was a man named Shloime, and he was a Jewish Prince. Or so his mother thought of him, and not many others did, though he was a nice guy and all...

Front Page

Why I Dread Purim

By Rabbi Tzvi Hersh Weinreb

There certainly are many reasons to look forward to Purim. It is a time of feasting, joy, and merriment. We celebrate an important victory over our enemies, which was a precedent for many other such victories over the course of our history. We read one of the most moving stories in our entire tradition, and we have good fun while we’re doing it.

Arts

Leah Ashkenazy: Jewish Artist

By Richard McBee

We live in a wonderful time for Jewish art. The orthodoxy of 20th century High Modernism has given way to a chaotic but liberated postmodernism willing to try anything, even serious “ethnic” art.

Lessons In Emunah

A Shampoo Gemach

By N. Schechter

I thank Hashem that my daughters play “shampoo gemach", and I take pride in our community, which stresses gemachs and acts of gemilas chesed. Families try to find ways to help others, and people go out of their way to search for opportunities to practice kindness.

Marriage and Relationships

Is It The Frum Woman’s Fault?

By Dr. Yael Respler

Dear Dr. Respler: I disagree with the January 27 letter writer, Desperate Single Woman, who wrote that the frum, older singles scene is easier on the men. Well, I am a man who desperately wants to get married and start a family.

Lessons In Emunah

‘All Your Deeds Are Written In A Book’

By dvora

Recently, I discovered a frum website, www.jewish-e-books.com, that allows one to download hundreds of Jewish books – both in English and Hebrew. Having written a sefer myself, I was able to get it put on their website.

Editorial

The Jewish Press Won’t Be Silenced

By Editorial Board

A significant number of suicide attempts are committed by boys from not just religious but rabbinic homes -- because they thought they were homosexual and had no place in the Orthodox world they grew up in, even if they had never acted on those impulses.

Op-Eds / Parenting Our Children

Surviving Bullying, Silencing And Torment For Being Gay In The Frum Community

By Chaim Levin

It’s been more than six months since The Jewish Press published an op-ed titled “Orthodox Homosexuals and the Pursuit of Self Indulgence.” In the article, the writer, while not mentioning my name, calls me shameless and self-indulgent and suggests that I learn to suffer in silence.

Marriage and Relationships

An Inner Harmony Like No Other

By Dr. Yael Respler

Dear Dr. Respler: Although I am only 40 years old, I feel as if I have discovered the ultimate emotional healing remedy.

Lessons In Emunah

Making It To The Simcha

By Rachel Pattashnick

Here is an amazing story. I recently made a bar mitzvah for my second son. I went to have my daughter's hair done in Flatbush, and had to be at the hall two hours later.

MUSSAR – Avi Ganz

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E-Edition

Serials

Freedom Is the Ownership of Time

By Itamar Frankenthal

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